Humor: Captain Krutt's Product Catalogue
  Oh bugger. There's not much to say. It seems our good friend Captain Krutt has put up a trading outpost somewhere and he sent us a flyer that he wanted us to put up here, and for fear of getting a ripe whuppin' trox-style, we decided "Hey.. Why not?"      
Welcome, fellow trox, to my humble store! Here we can get you the most bang for your buck, the most slam for your f.. eh.. buck! Take a peek at that the Assault Log! Hardly ever been used, guv'ner! Only one previous owner! Yarr! I'll even apply a all-new layer o' spit-shine on it, just for you!

We have the lowest prices in the entire southwesternmost quadrant in Rubi-Ka for you! Mostly cuz no one else is in business for around six weeks of walkin' - yarr! You might be wanting that Log when you got a few scorpiods nippin' at your tails, wouldn't you say?

Come on in, come on in, special discount for the kids! Group discount for vicious bands o' renegades! Bring your "I are a certified renegade" card an' I'll chop off 10% percent rite offa the top of the pricetag! Watch that, sir - remember, if you break it, you buy it!

Uncle Egberts Guide to Ninja Secrets!
Learn how to disarm and kill someone five times before they hit the ground!

Uncle Egberts Guide to Ninja Secrets include more ways to beat, pulverize and mutilate your opponent than your stepmothers cookbook! Included in the book are illustrated moves such as
. The Crane
. The Snake
. The Mongoose
. The Frisky Toad
. Khalum's Fist of Yo-momma!

Order now before someone else does!

Product #07724, Only 2 179.99 credits!

Krutt Assault 211 Candy Cane!
You want some candy? Well, do ya, punk!? The new Krutt Assault 211 Candycane has SkinCom StickyGrip™ for comfort. Swing it this way or the other - the Krutt Assault Candycane can swing any way without it flying from your hands!

Ideal for use outdoors and at parties where you're not welcome!

Speshul Xmas offar!
Order one today and we'll throw in an extra bag of crispy-crunchy Chocolate Muffin snackycakes for you! They explode on impact!!

Product #00359, Only 399 999.99 credits!

Krutt Assault 211 Proffesional Log™
Nothing beats a good ol' log! With Real Imitated Wood (no ekstra charge!) this weapon is a beauty to bash or get bashed with! Noone goes to sleepysleepy land happier than if they've been hit over the head with a Krutt Proffesional Log!

Tons of satisfied customers cant be wrong - if you think we're wrong, ask Bob down de street, he'll tell you that if you havent got a Krutt Assault 211 Proffesional Log™, you aint bashin' with style!

Included in the package is an instruction leaflet for the kids (or if you're plain forgetful) with pictures of how to best whack your first Rollerrat!

Product #00225, Only 129 999.59 credits!

Krutt Assault 219 Premium Railroad Track
You cant go far wrong with a railroad track by your side!
Get your adrenalin flowing and grab that Railroad track and you'll be as happy as a Hammer Broodling in a meatpackin' plant!

The all-new Railroad track features better grip and 15% more punch (just listen after the distinct "klonk" after you bash someone on their head with it and you'll know what we're talking about!) for your pleasure!

Buy one for the price of one, or two for the price of six, special offer only this week at Krutt Arms Inc!

Product #00138, Only 799 999.99

Krutt Whak-Man 3000
By Jimminy and Crivvens! Have you ever seen such a beauty? The new Whak-Man 3000-series has the most whak for your buck - and believe me, thats saying a lot.

Double your whacking pleasure with this duo-grip, duo-whack, duo-anything hammer! It will bring down reets, minibulls, Omni-Tek taxation officers and tanks all the same.

Very easy to use with our newly-developed "Get'em!" three-step system: Grab-Point-Whack! Doesnt get much more simple than that!

(not suitable for children, contains small parts)

Product #00022, Only 689 999.99

Krutt Ratapult X9
Featured in the first and only issue of "Trox Monthly", the Ratapult got glowing reviews!

Yes, another weapon that gives you the most bang for your buck! The difference? This time we really really mean it! (Promise!)

The Ratapult comes in one different colors for you - yellow. Just place it on the ground or over your shoulder, plop in the rollerrat and watch them fly! The unique backloading ammunition system will pump the rollerrat so full o' TNT that it will guaranteed explode on impact!
(Rollerrats not included)

Product #00944, Only 899 199.99

Last updated 06. December 2003